Anger & What Lies Beneath

Someone just cut you off while going 75 mph on the freeway, barely missing the front end of your car. Your foot slams on the brake while your body jerks forward, hands clenched on the steering wheel. Heart pounding, you feel your face heat up as your temper rises; thoughts racing, you find yourself shouting, “What a jerk! Don’t you know how to use a turn signal?! You almost hit me!”

Now, you could have handled the above scenario much differently, and that’s okay! But if you’ve experienced a similar reaction to an event like this, you’re not alone. The physiological symptoms described above are just a few classic signs of the well-known human emotion of anger. Recognizing anger is the first step in understanding it, learning where it’s coming from, and working through it constructively. We’ll take a look at what anger is, how it is expressed, what happens when it is repressed, and, ultimately, what we can do with it.

What is Anger?

It may seem too simplistic to define anger. As a human being reading these words, you know very well what anger is, as you undoubtedly have felt it at least once in your life and to varying degrees. Anger can be the strong irritation one feels at a significant or minor inconvenience. Anger can be the feeling of displeasure one has when someone crosses their boundaries.

Anger can be the rage one experiences due to injustices happening around them. Yet, while anger has similar presentations throughout the human species, it is often expressed differently from one person to the next. Anger is a complex spectrum. Anger in itself is not inherently bad, but how you express that anger is what matters most for your personal health, growth, and relationships.

Portrayals and Expressions of Anger

We often learn how to express - or repress - anger through our parents, siblings, friends, extended family members; movies, books, and other media sources. If talking about one’s feelings was welcomed while growing up, one may have an easier time expressing and resolving anger. On the other hand, if anger was frowned upon or even shamed while growing up, this could make it challenging for one to know how and/or feel comfortable expressing this emotion. However, this is not always the case. Anger can be expressed externally or internally. While some real-life and fictional portrayals of anger leave destruction in their wake, anger is not always “bad,” violent, or something to fear. If left unchecked, of course, it can be disruptive, hinder personal growth, and impact physical and mental well-being, which will be covered next.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

–Mark Twain

Holding on to Anger

What happens when we hold onto anger? Does it fester into something stronger, growing deep roots of resentment? Does it simmer and boil over into an argument with a friend? Does it act as an accelerant, fueling the flames of personal growth, transformation, and progress? Unfortunately, it can do all of these things and more.

Research shows that holding onto anger for long periods of time can have negative consequences for one’s mental and physical health, resulting in heart issues, gut health issues, hormonal imbalances, aggression, and hostility (Yadav et al., 2017). Alternatively, anger does have its benefits. Anger can be used as a motivator to drive change or be harnessed to achieve goals. A 2023 study supports this, finding that anger led “to greater goal attainment in situations involving challenges” (Lench et al., p. 11). Perhaps if we reframe a situation into a challenge, we might be more likely to resolve the issue that made us angry in the first place.

Letting Go

What do we do with anger that we do not want to hold onto? Is it as easy as just “letting it go”? How does one even let go of an emotion? To “let go” of anger, we must first understand it - where is it coming from? What lies beneath this strong emotion? Anger is a primary emotion, meaning that across the human species, anger is one of the core emotions that all humans experience (APA, 2018). It is also considered a secondary emotion, meaning that there is usually another underlying emotion that triggers the anger to surface. Sometimes, these emotions hiding under the waves of anger can be hard to recognize at first and difficult for us to feel and process. To understand anger, we have to be able to separate from it just enough to see what it’s trying to tell us. With practice, we can move from “I am angry” to “I am feeling angry.” When we have enough space between identifying with the anger and understanding that there is a part of us that is angry, then there is room to be curious about why the anger is presenting itself. The following emotions are just a few examples of what might be felt underneath anger: pain, hurt, betrayal, sadness, embarrassment, fear, shame, stress, and guilt. Countless combinations of emotions could cause one to feel angry. So, let’s take another look at the scenario above where a person came dangerously close to your car while they cut you off on the freeway. If we were to trace the anger backward, we could see that the most immediate reaction was to slam on the brakes while gripping the steering wheel tighter, heart pounding. Tension and a racing heart can be signs of anger; yet, in this initial response, these are also signs of fear. Now that we can recognize fear as the initial emotional response and anger as the secondary response, we can begin to calm our nerves by deep breathing, safely grounding ourselves in our environment, affirmations, or anything else that can bring us back to equilibrium.

Ending Thoughts

While powerful, anger is a natural human emotion—just like any other—one that can be noticed, identified, and worked through by getting to know it from a curious standpoint. While anger can be scary due to its many presentations in life, it can also be harnessed, tapped into, and utilized to achieve goals and drive personal and societal change. If we view anger as a messenger, we can learn to listen to what it’s trying to tell us. If you or a loved one are struggling with anger holding onto or expressing anger, please don’t hesitate to reach out to one of our trained therapists for additional support.

Blog Sources:

American Psychological Association. (2018). Primary emotion. In APA Dictionary of Psychology.

Retrieved March 18, 2025 from https://dictionary.apa.org/primary-emotion

Lench, H. C., Reed, N. T., George, T., Kaiser, K. A., & North, S. G. (2023). Anger has benefits

for attaining goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 126(4), 587.

Yadav, P. K., Yadav, R. L., & Sapkota, N. K. (2017). Anger; its impact on human body. Innovare

Journal of Health Sciences, 4(5), 3-5.